Join us on FacebookDiscussion on Sleep
Step 7 of GROW’s 12 Step Program is “we took care and control of our bodies”. This paper from the Kilkenny Writer’s Group explores the topic of Sleep. It quickly became obvious in this discussion that there was no consensus regarding ‘what works’. Perhaps our sleeping patterns are very individual like our fingerprint. However unlike our fingerprint the pattern changes over time. For example young people may have the energy to party all night, yet manage to stumble out of bed for work the next morning – this is rarely feasible (or advisable) when we get older. Parents of babies will naturally sleep with a sense of heightened alertness – waking up to slightest sound. As we get older we may need less sleep at night, but be inclined to nap during the day. Some people are naturally ‘night-owls’ or ‘morning larks’. However a tendency towards being anti-social can make us become ‘night-owls’ – a bad habit we need to grow out of.
Exercising and Counting Sheep to help with sleep?
Pat: I went through a difficult 12 month phase in my life, where sleep was a huge issue. I was tossing and turning, listening to the radio, getting up, trying sleeping tablets – nothing seemed to work. Eventually I did some research on the internet and the following tips helped me greatly: (a) avoid caffeine/alcohol/food at night-time; (b) recognise that we can function for many weeks on 1-2 hours sleep.
Functioning on little sleep is not enjoyable – but it is possible. Also insomniacs usually get more sleep than they think. Naturally they will remember the 7 hours they lay awake in bed. But equally naturally they will forget the 30-60 minute sleeping episodes that were mixed into the sleeplessness. These short sleeping episodes enable us to carry on.
Amy: When I shared this issue with a therapist I was told: ‘you attend a 12-Step Program, why not hand it over to God?’ Initially I was angry with this advice, but now I realise that it works. Sleep is a gift. I can’t make it happen. But if I hand control over to my higher power it is usually (not always) gifted to me. Not having to be in control and handing over takes away the stress – making it easier to sleep. What also helps is to write a list of the issues that trouble me and promise myself that I will face them in the morning, after I’ve slept. If someone upsets me I try to remember all the good people in my life. Sometimes (this is difficult) I will try to find something good in the person that bugs me, and hope that I will be able to connect with their goodness.
Ann: When I was younger I sometimes worked 7 night-shifts in a row. This used mess up my circadian rhythm. Experience has taught me that working 3-4 nights in a row is okay, but anything more will disrupt my sleep. As I get older my body has become more sensitive, so I need to say ‘no’ to extra night-shifts. Saying ‘no’ can sometimes by necessary to protect our physical and mental health. Another aid in dealing with sleeplessness is to read something short and uplifting – GROW’s Blue Book, the Bible, or any book that has a soothing message, making it easier for me to drop back asleep.
Mark: My sleeping pattern has always been erratic, due to manic depression. When I’m down it’s easy to get 8-9 hours sleep. When I’m manic it’s a struggle to get 3-5 hours. I try to avoid napping during the day, as this makes it harder to sleep at night. If I sense I’ll get little sleep I will delay going to bed till around 1am. Then once I go to bed I make myself stay there, listening to music or the radio. Usually such distractions help me fall asleep. But even if I’m awake all night, listening to the radio means I’m not so bothered by my negative thoughts. GROW has taught me to get better at ignoring such thoughts.
Mary: It’s funny – I deal with my manic depression differently to Mark. I find when I’m manic the odd cat-nap during the day helps take the edge off my mania, making it easier to sleep at night. Also I see no point in staying in bed tossing and turning. Sometimes I’ll get up and have a hot chocolate, read a book for a while and – when I feel tired enough to sleep – go back to bed. In the long run it all balances out.
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The discussion concluded with GROWers sharing ideas about what helps them deal with sleeping difficulties:-
- Find ways to prepare for sleep. Doing the basics right throughout the day can be a huge help – ie eating healthy food and getting adequate exercise. Then at night-time minimize consumption of alcohol, caffeine, food. Avoid things that will over-stimulate your mind just before bedtime, like disturbing films or phone conversations. If the mobile can’t be turned off, it can be ignored.
- Remember problems can feel more scary in the middle of night between 2-4am. We may feel we are not in control as our fears become magnified. However in GROW we learn to ignore our negative feelings, refocus on all that is good in our lives and believe that once the sun rises we have the gift of a new day, offering us positive choices – the chance to begin anew.
- Make our bedroom an easier place to sleep in – ie it needs to be dark (heavy curtains), not too warm (avoid excessive heat). Turn off the television, lap-top, put away the mobile – but listening to soothing music or the radio can help.
- Hand over our fears and doubts to our Higher Power. Remember we can function tomorrow with little or no sleep, so we needn’t ‘force’ sleep. Tell ourselves that I can’t solve problems in bed, but I promise to face them in the morning (with the help of friends/Higher Power).
- Our program teaches us ‘ACCEPTANCE’ on many levels. We learn as time goes on ‘what we don’t accept we fight’ and this causes more stress and negative thinking. When it comes to sleep these 2 elements can be a ‘nightmare’. So we must ‘ACCCEPT’ that it is a an ordinary thing in the lives of all of us that our sleep pattern will alternate between good/bad, long/short, settled/disturbed – and all of the things mentioned above.
- I don’t think anyone ever died from lack of sleep no matter how uncomfortable it is – we will eventually sleep. The challenge is to accept these times of sleeplessness as being life circumstances. We can with the help of our program and group make the changes necessary to get us back on track, keeping in mind ‘the bad weather can’t last’ and it WILL CHANGE AGAIN.
Here are a few other useful resources:-