Join us on FacebookGROW 12 Step Program – Step 7
We took care and control of our bodies. This article on Step 7 of the GROW 12 Step Program is a selection of pieces by different Kilkenny GROWers who explore step 7 which is all about looking after ourselves – primarily in relation to sleep, exercise and diet. Mary and Mark also share their own personal reflections on Step 7, from the viewpoint of taking responsibility for our healthcare.
Sleep
I have learned two important lessons regarding sleep. Firstly, the only thing that will keep me awake the whole night is the fear of not sleeping. Once I accept that I may not sleep and stop trying to make myself do so, invariably I get 3-6 hours sleep. It is a paradox that I have no right to expect sleep. Yet accepting that I may not get sleep means I will be gifted it. The second lesson is that I do not need 6-8 hours sleep every night in order to get through life. I admit that surviving several nights on 3-4 hours sleep does lead to feeling like a zombie. But I can still function in society. And remember zombies are also members of the human race, loved by God etc. The good news is that eventually my body gets fed up with the sleep deficit and a healthy sleeping pattern resumes. There are other tricks I use. If my head is spinning with thoughts and fears, I write them all down and tell myself I will give them all serious consideration tomorrow morning, but the middle of the night is not the proper time to deal with them. We all seem to have showers nowadays, but a bath is a great way to unwind and prepare for sleep. Allow yourself plenty of time to relax in a bath – you’ll be surprised how it helps drain away tension and anxiety. Another trick is if I am awake at midnight, full of resentments towards other people, I pray for them and me – that God would give us all a bit of wisdom and love.
Physical exercise
We all know physical exercise is good for our heart and helps maintain muscle tone into old age. However we often view such advice as being ‘boring’, and see exercise as being a chore (best avoided). However the shared experience in Grow is that exercise has a very positive impact on our mental health. The reasons are numerous – it helps us sleep better and lifts our mood. But some benefits are less obvious:
- Strengthening our heart and lungs means that when we find ourselves in stressful situations we have the ability to breathe deeply and keep going (resilience). We are less likely to panic – we can trust that our bodies (energy levels) are strong enough to cope with pressure.
- Exercise gets us out of the house. We are applying Grow’s Rules for Objective Thinking – breaking out of isolation and keeping in friendly touch with others.
However it’s easier to make exercise part of our routine if we do it in a fun way. Fun is a subjective concept, but the good news is exercise comes in many different forms – walking, cycling, swimming, dancing, marching bands, pole-dancing, DIY, gardening etc.
A special mention must be made regarding the simplest of exercises – walking. Walking connects us to the world around us, other people, our own body and (perhaps most importantly) helps us think in a more positive way.
This is well explained in the following quote from Rebecca Solnit’s book, Wanderlust: A History of Walking: “Suddenly I came out of my thoughts to notice everything around me again-the catkins on the willows, the lapping of the water, the leafy patterns of the shadows across the path. And then myself, walking with the alignment that only comes after miles, the loose diagonal rhythm of arms swinging in synchronization with legs in a body that felt long and stretched out, almost as sinuous as a snake…when you give yourself to places, they give you yourself back; the more one comes to know them, the more one seeds them with the invisible crop of memories and associations that will be waiting for when you come back, while new places offer up new thoughts, new possibilities. Exploring the world is one the best ways of exploring the mind, and walking travels both terrains.”
And another quote from Solnit’s book: “For [Jane Austen and the readers of Pride and Prejudice], as for Mr. Darcy, [Elizabeth Bennett’s] solitary walks express the independence that literally takes the heroine out of the social sphere of the houses and their inhabitants, into a larger, lonelier world where she is free to think: walking articulates both physical and mental freedom.”
Food and drink
I have no proof, but I suspect that a lot of people with depression are very sensitive to what their bodies consume. Apart from drugs/alcohol our bodies can also be sensitive to excess caffeine, foods laden with additives and sugar. Eating a healthy diet (ie food with a low Glycemic Index) can help keep our mood on an even keel. Drinking plenty of water means we won’t have poor concentration caused by dehydration. The best advice on food I heard was to eat what our grandparents ate – as we just don’t yet fully know what damage processed foods do to us. I have even learned to love porridge (by adding fruit!).
Mary’s Story
It’s so easy to say “some things we have control over . . .” But it is true. My story is about Cancer. When I was told I had Cancer of the Uterus, in 2009, it was not a shock.
- I was not guilty: For many years I attended my Doctor for “Well Woman Checks”, so I was able to know any body changes quickly (myself). It’s good that the word “Cancer” is spoken openly now. Most Cancers do take a number of years to grow . . .
- I was never afraid: My treatment was surgery – Total Hysterectomy. When I ever get an opportunity I tell women my story, even strangers. I hope women take the time of a mere 10 minutes or so for this Check Up, also called a Pap Smear. I was never afraid even though I needed 3 Radium Treatments, more for “caution” than urgency. After my Surgery I went to a nursing home to convalesce.
Lucky details:
- I recovered quickly.
- Got great support from friends and family.
- Got so many Cards and Prayers.
- My sister came over from Australia.
Where am I now: I do suffer health glitches – I just go to my Doctor . . . Worry only exaggerates problems. Finally, it’s up to me to “take care & control” of me.
Mark’s Story
Reading Mary’s story made me reflect on my own attitude towards seeking help from doctors. Mary’s approach is practical and matter of fact – while for many years my approach was based on suspicion which bordered on complete mistrust.
The origin of this mistrust goes back to my teenage years. My psychiatrist was trying to find the right medications for my mental anguish – a process of ‘trial and error’. However an unsuitable medication led to the ‘error’ of me ending up in hospital. Over the years, through trial and error, I discovered that I functioned better without medication and in general my body coped better if I avoided or minimised consuming any drug or unhealthy food – eg alcohol, nicotine, sugar, caffeine.
This led me to explore the ‘healthy alternative lifestyle’ – which involved lots of exercise and garlic (this certainly kept vampires and some humans well away from me!). There were times when I might see the GP once a year, often not at all.
As I get older different parts of my body are more inclined to act up and no amount of garlic will act as a cure! One of the many things I learned in GROW is that if I need to go to the doctor it helps to write down what the issues are and what questions I want to ask. This means I am no longer a clueless teenager, not knowing what to say and blindly taking whatever treatment is offered. Being able to express myself clearly and say what treatment I seek does not get me thrown out of my GP’s office – it merely improves communication.
I am learning to take responsibility for my health. Being able to relate to my doctor in a mature way means that I must learn to think by reason, not feelings and imagination. Going into the waiting room always seems to drag up old fears and hang-ups. But GROW is all about change of thinking, talk, ways and relationships. My physical health is too important to let old irrational fears take over.