Join us on FacebookGROW 12 Step Program – Step 9
We developed will power to do the right thing in spite of our feelings. This article on Step 9 of the GROW 12 Step Program features pieces by the Moville and Dungloe GROW groups (Donegal). We generally have to get on with doing things in spite of how we may be feeling – and often, these actions will in turn positively redirect our feelings.
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No matter how bad I feel in the morning, I still have to get up and go to work. I can activate myself and keep going. I can do a lot of things in spite of how I feel. Sometimes we may fear the consequences of doing something we fear, but when we do it anyway and feel a sense of achievement, we feel better afterwards.
If we fall out with someone, we can decide to make peace with them and have the courage to do the right thing. We can be helpful and supportive to these people even if they have not been supportive to us. Resentments can eat us up, so if we try and forgive, it helps us and them too.
In our old Blue Book Step 9 was worded: “We trained our wills to govern our feelings” and the 4th Stage of Decline was worded: “We expressed or suppressed certain feelings against better judgement of conscience or sound advice”.
This leaves us with a lot of food for thought, when we come to the GROW group it is important to learn the “3 Basic Convictions”- to steady our thinking and to keep our minds set on the way of growth and to steady our behaviour. We learn from each other to “be friends with our feelings” and never let them be our masters.
Instead of saying “I can’t or I won’t”, I will say “I will try” or some other positive response. No matter how low we are or how “face down on the ground” we are, we have to dig deep and to do the positive things like:
- Emphasise your strengths: Give yourself credit for coming to GROW meetings and everything you try.
- Take risks: Look upon new experiences as opportunities to learn, not situations to win or lose.
- Reflect on what you feel is positive about your life (past and present): Ask yourself what is really important to you in life, ask where you are now and where would you like to go – set goals for yourself – and start with small goals.
- Don’t strive for perfection: Accept “being good enough”.
And don’t forget that “hugs and healing” and that “hugs are made in heaven”!
Many thanks to the members of the Northwestern Region Dungloe and Moville groups for submitting this article (Leadership Paper).