Mischievous Minds

Step 8 of GROW’s 12 Step Program is “we learned to think by reason rather than by feelings and imagination”. This piece was submitted by blogger, Dave Cal.

It’s easy to get sucked into our chaotic inner world, the isolated place where our imaginations run riot and our feelings are easy prey for thought processes that might not always have our best interests at heart. They’re not always wrong or ill-intentioned, but these thought processes need to kept in check if we’re to lead healthy, fulfilling lives. Thankfully, as humans, we have reasoning abilities which are still out of reach for even the most advanced supercomputers out there. With this in mind, it should be comforting to us all to know that we each possess our own secret weapon against the misleading and unhelpful creations of our occasionally untrustworthy minds.

Celebrating Con Keogh Day 2015 in Courtown

Still, many of us are guilty of justifying extremely counterproductive decisions. Beginning with, for example, a nagging feeling that we won’t enjoy an outing with friends, we’ll often invent very creative excuses for avoiding social occasions. In the short term, we’re happy with our decision and feel as though it’s 100% justified. On what have we based our decision, someone might ask us when we explain to them why we chose to isolate ourselves yet again. I don’t have to tell you that, more often than not, the answer is feelings and imagination.

These justifications begin at the back of our minds, and it is there, in the dark corners of our thinking machines, that feelings and imagination seem to take control and dictate to us how we should run our lives. A feeling of inadequacy might creep in and tell us we won’t contribute anything useful to the outing with friends. This notion that we’re inadequate is likely to be the consequence of rigorous self-analysis after previous social engagements. It’s also likely to be a feeling we’ve cultivated for quite some time, and long-held feelings/beliefs like these are curious beasts in that they often have no basis in reality. In fact, if we examine them and apply reason to these examinations, we can debunk piece by piece most if not all false feelings/beliefs.

The primary reason such beliefs are unlikely to be trustworthy is that reliable friends would wholeheartedly disagree with them. If asked, your friends are almost certain to say that your belief that you’re inadequate exists only in your own mind. They might even confide in you that they sometimes have similar confidence issues, and with the tables fully turned, you yourself will now see that your friend is battling with false feelings and a vivid imagination in much the same way that you are.

Turning the tables like this can be useful if you’re struggling with malevolent feelings. First, imagine what you’d say to a good friend; then, take your own advice; and finally, you’ll see that you’re overlooking reason in favour of the virtually endless stream of wildly inaccurate fancies that our minds conjures up regularly to keep us on our toes.

And don’t forget: if in doubt, ask someone reliable. We’re sometimes too muddled to plot a direct course to reason, but if we seek help, we’ll get there. One step at a time.