December 2024 Newsletter – Christmas Your Way

2024

December 2024 Newsletter:
Christmas, Your Way.

'Tis the season to be jolly! Or so the song tells us. It can also be a season for stress, loneliness, and excess. Christmas is a big deal in Ireland and in many places around the world but what about those who don't celebrate Christmas or who become overwhelmed at the thought of decking the halls? This year we are looking at how to celebrate the season (or not!) your way. Maybe you want to be snuggled up with a good book on the 25th. Maybe you want to connect with long-lost friends. Maybe you want to greet Santa with bells and presents. However you choose to be at Christmas time, there is a place for you. Read on to find lots of inspiration for celebrating the season your way plus Grow news and updates. Enjoy! You can reach us on our social media platforms and by email [email protected]

You can support Grow Mental Health and our vision of an Ireland where no one needs to navigate mental health challenges or life’s struggles alone by making a donation now.

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PLAN B CHRISTMAS
By Jonathan, Grow Member, Eastern Region

Christmas is my sister’s! For over 30 years I’ve jumped on my bike laden with presents to spend Christmas day with my sister’s family. Aideen does a dinner to die for. A marvellous family celebration. However, two Christmases ago, Aideen and her family went to visit my other sister Liz in Australia for the festive season. I had to make an alternative plan.

I woke around 8ish on Christmas morning, it was cold, but it soon grew bright with winter sun. I was in good spirits. I treated myself to a breakfast of rasher butties. Turned the radio on for while and then jumped on the bicycle. I made my way into town on empty roads, in which I took great pleasure.

My first port of call was the Unitarian Church on Stephen’s Green. It is a church that welcomes all faiths and those of none. I was a bit nervous going in. There was a woman that I had a shine on. I met Helen a few years before on a course. She was a regular at this church. One half of me wanted to meet her and the other did not want to get uptight talking to her. I scanned around but there was no sign of Helen. So, I settled down. I don’t remember the sermon, but there was a magic in the church. An energy, an anticipation. Everyone was starting their Christmas day. The winter sun was blazing through the stain glass windows. My mind drifted. My soul grew peaceful.

After the service ended, I went for a walk in Stephen’s Green. It was pleasant in the sun. I did one lap and then sat at the pond to watch what the ducks and gulls were up to. It was just another day to them. This amused me a little. Then to my dismay a park attendant asked me to leave, they were closing the Green. It was only 12.30. I had booked a table at a Muslim restaurant in Temple Bar for 2.00. So, I wandered around slowly, zeroing in on the restaurant. It was so strange to see Grafton Street completely deserted. I met one man coming the opposite direction. We wished each other a happy Christmas. At the top of the street there was a homeless person sleeping rough in Brown Thomas’s doorway. I could not tell if the person was a man or woman. I tucked a monetary note safety beside them where they would find it upon awakening.

I got to the restaurant for 1.30. There was no problem, the restaurant was nearly empty. I can’t remember the name of the starter or main meal I ordered. But both were new to me and well enjoyed. After I ordered a Turkish coffee. I won’t do that again! It was like a little espresso but even more powerful. I was full but not stuffed to the gills as I usually am after Christmas dinner.

I cycled home on empty roads again. My brother Turlough called in and we had a couple cans of 0.0 Guinness. We shot the breeze for an hour and a half and then he went on his way. It was getting dark now. I watched a little TV, flicking from one festive film to another when I had a brainwave! I still had energy, and it wasn’t late. I decided to jump on the bike again and visit a couple of friends unannounced. I knew John and Gordon would be at home at this time. I enjoyed the company and all the more being Christmas and it being a spur of the moment thing. I also loved the cycle between their homes. All was quiet and special on that night.

I got home around 10.30. I decided to read, what I can’t remember. But it was silent and solitary, which I like. At 12.30 I went to bed. As I walked up the stairs, I thought to myself, “I enjoyed today.”

FINDING BALANCE AT CHRISTMAS
By Holly, Grow Group Member, Southern Region

I would be the first to admit it; I am not a fan of Christmas. Our relationship has been a turbulent one. The media paints Christmas as this glamourous, sentimental affair, one that we all must aspire towards. This has created certain expectations in me, despite the fact that my version of Christmas, never comes close. The fallout of disappointment and resentment, is by no means unique to me.

There is so much pressure to follow Christmas trends, or to let obligation dictate our plans. This can run many of us ragged, which can be especially true for introverted individuals. There are also others who find themselves on their own, or already enduring hardship over Christmas. Their feelings of loneliness and depression are only exacerbated by the belief, that they are “missing out”. We should not feel like we have to recreate Christmas, as it is depicted on TV. And we are certainly are not lacking in any way, if our Christmas is non-traditional. Creating your very own brand of Christmas is more likely to bring you genuine happiness, or time to rest and recharge, at the very least. “May I have the courage today to live the life I love.” Grow Program, p.104.

Children really embody the spirit of Christmas. Perhaps, it is because they are so open to the world. Everything is possible and belief is easy. When I was a child, I too used to get caught up in the excitement of Christmas. What changed for me? What changed for us all? I think life experience gets in the way. Wonder and hope once came naturally to each of us. It is still alive in my own son, and I marvel at his ability to wield this magic. A magic accessible to him, but unreachable for me. Maybe this is what allows children to experience Christmas more fully, than any adult can. Perhaps, children can help us reclaim the ability to feel and dream, like they do. “For my part, I know nothing with any certainty but the sight of the stars makes me want to dream.” Grow Program, p.107.

My son is too young to understand the concept of Christmas yet. However, I can see him bringing change to our future Christmases. His sense of wonder and excitement is such a positive force. This has the ability to transform the energy in our home, if I allow it. The fact that this stage of his life is so fleeting, makes me want to nurture it, hold onto it for as long as I can. I feel I need to lean more into Christmas in the future, not only for him, but for me too. This means, leaning into change. With change, comes new experiences and personal growth. “To live is to change and to change is to live fully.” Grow Program, p.28.

Of course, not everyone has their own children. However, we were all children once, and so we can draw inspiration from our past selves. When I recently reflected back on my own childhood, I asked myself what was it like. What were my favourite games or toys? What were my interests? No matter how many decades removed we are from our own childhoods, our inner children are still very much alive in us. They deserve to have their voices heard, as they are an integral part of us. When we are in touch with them, we are connecting with our authentic selves. This is a sure path to happiness and inner peace. So, can you ask your inner child what kind of Christmas they would like? Do not be held back by propriety, or preconceived notions of what Christmas “should” be. “Don’t be put off lovely things by objectionable people.” Grow Program, p.106.

I want to acknowledge those who have lost children or can’t have children, and those who are estranged from their children. Christmas can be a very lonely time for these groups. Unfortunately, I know this from experience. My son happens to be my first live birth, out of three. I had a daughter before my son. She was meant to be our “Christmas baby,” due on December the 10th, 2021. Christmases 2021 and 2022 were nothing short of torturous. It was impossible to avoid all those happy families, with adorable babies dressed in Christmas outfits. It became so distressing for me, that I cocooned myself for most of these periods, barely seeing family and friends. I could no longer be as available to people, as I had been in past. Prioritising my self-care over Christmas celebrations was, and still is the right decision for me. If any of these situations apply to you, know that you have every right to create the Christmas that will cause you the least amount of discomfort and suffering. You owe no one any explanations. “Recovery is living a life of one’s choosing...” Grow Program, p.107.

Christmas can really exacerbate any kind of grief. Since losing my daughter, I still find the Christmas social scene difficult to negotiate. Therefore, I have found it helpful to identify my personal triggers, as well as my capacity with others. Communicating these can reduce the likelihood of people saying or behaving in less-than-ideal ways. In the event of having an unpleasant interaction, one should give the offender the benefit of the doubt. Most people do not set out to cause hurt, especially to those who are grieving. This insensitivity or awkwardness usually comes from a lack of understanding. Hence the need for us all to communicate our needs. “Clear understandings make long friendships.” Grow Program, p.106.

People believe you either love Christmas or hate it. That you are firmly in one camp or the other. That is simply not the case. People experience heart-warming highs and crushing lows, and everything in between. That is part of life. And as in life, we are all in a constant state of flux. People, things, situations change. One Christmas might be filled with connection and merriment, and the next overshadowed by sorrow and isolation. We never know. All we can do is accept our lot, as best we can. Be grateful for the good times and hold onto hope during the bad. Both will pass, in time. “Don't get imprisoned in the here and now.” Grow Program, p.106.

SUPPORT THROUGH THE SEASON
Grow Mental Health Opportunities to Connect and Keep Well at Christmas

Whether you are looking for some connection or self-assurance this holiday season, We've got you covered. We have put together a calendar of events to keep us all connected and grounded at Christmas. Some of the events include:

LET’S CONNECT FOR CHRISTMAS
Online Self-Care Tools & Mindfulness
Friday 20th December at 11.00 am – 12.30 pm

IN-PERSON GALWAY CHRISTMAS CAROL SINGING
Fundraiser - All Welcome
Saturday 21st December 11.00 am – 1.00 pm on Shop Street Galway

ONLINE CHRISTMAS CRACKER COFFEE CONNECTION
bring your best/worst Christmas joke
Monday 23rd December at 11.00 am

IN-PERSON SPECIAL OPEN MEETING LIMERICK CITY
Monday 30th December at 11.00 am
Grow Offices 33 Henry St, Limerick

We also encourage everyone who might find the holidays stressful to create your own CHRISTMAS WELLNESS PLAN. This wellness plan is to help us develop our own personal resources and prepare for the Christmas period. It helps to write those resources down, so we have the information at hand if we have a bad day or we find ourselves in a tough spot.

The workbook is broken into five parts:
1. Warning Signs: to spot when we are not as well as we could be
2. Things We can do to maintain wellness or distract Ourselves
3. People we can contact over Christmas
4. Agencies Or Doctors We can contact
5. Joy: A space to reflect on what brings us JOY.

Contact us on [email protected] for the complete Christmas Calendar or a copy of the Christmas Wellness Plan Workbook.

Don't struggle alone this year. We are here.

THE OTHER 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS
By Barry, Grow Group Member, Eastern Region

A re-imagining of the classic carol, but through the lens of the 12 Steps of the Grow Program. How the 12 Days of Christmas might look if you wanted to be creative, take responsibility for all parts of your life, and maybe even celebrate...

On the first day of Christmas, wondering how it would be -
I saw what could come to me.

On the second day of Christmas, what then came to me -
a pair of lovely gloves,
and a day walking down by the sea.

On the third day of Christmas, what then came to me - three old friends,
a pair of lovely gloves,
and a day walking down by the sea.

On the fourth day of Christmas, what then came to me -
four kindly words, three old friends,
a pair of lovely gloves,
and a day walking down by the sea.

On the fifth day of Christmas, what then came to me - five chicken wings,
four kindly words, three old friends,
a pair of lovely gloves,
and a day walking down by the sea.

On the sixth day of Christmas, what then came to me - tax and bills for paying, five chicken wings,
four kindly words, three old friends,
a pair of lovely gloves,
and a day walking down by the sea.

On the seventh day of Christmas, what then came to me - read a wise Grow saying, tax and bills for paying, five chicken wings,
four kindly words, three old friends,
a pair of lovely gloves,
and a day walking down by the sea.

On the eighth day of Christmas, what then came to me - knitting, stitching, quilting, read a wise Grow saying, tax and bills for paying, five chicken wings,
four kindly words, three old friends,
a pair of lovely gloves,
and a day walking down by the sea.

On the ninth day of Christmas, what then came to me - practise my line-dancing, knitting, stitching, quilting, read a wise Grow saying, tax and bills for paying, five chicken wings,
four kindly words, three old friends,
a pair of lovely gloves,
and a day walking down by the sea.

On the tenth day of Christmas, what then came to me - plans made for keeping, practise my line-dancing, knitting, stitching, quilting, read a wise Grow saying, tax and bills for paying, five chicken wings,
four kindly words, three old friends,
a pair of lovely gloves,
and a day walking down by the sea.

On the eleventh day of Christmas, what then came to me - emails sent and typing, plans made for keeping, practise my line-dancing, knitting, stitching, quilting read a wise Grow saying, tax and bills for paying, five chicken wings,
four kindly words, three old friends,
a pair of lovely gloves,
and a day walking down by the sea.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, what then came to me - fix the dripping plumbing, emails send and typing, plans made for keeping, practise my line-dancing, knitting, stitching, quilting, read a wise Grow saying, tax and bills for paying, five chicken wings,
four kindly words, three old friends,
a pair of lovely gloves,

it was then that I set myself free.

CHRISTMAS DAY ANOTHER WAY
By Barry, Grow Group Member, Eastern Region

Maybe the carols and cakes aren't your thing. You don't have to follow the traditions just because others do. Here are some ideas for making the holiday your own. Find what works for you and enjoy Christmas Day another way.

Travel
Find somewhere you’ve always wanted to go. Don’t delay. Make those plans today. Find that travel blog you’ve been meaning to read. You may discover a place you’ve never thought about before.

Become at One with The Land
Go for a nice walk. Start planning your garden for next year.

Be quiet
What about a silent retreat?

Surprise your Palate
If you’re staying home, try cooking something unexpected, and un-Christmassy. A Jam and Peanut Butter Sandwich perhaps.

Get Nostalgic
Curl up in front of the fire and watching Casablanca, All Alien movies in one sitting, Singing in the Rain.

Catch Up with Nature
Go to the zoo. Visit the botanic gardens, a local park, or a bird conservatory. Get out there and see what the animals do. They don’t do Christmas. They just be. So, go on discover some wildlife.

Do Something With Your Hands
Stop scrolling. Get the paper and scissors out. Make your own cards. Strip a chair and varnish it. Paint on an old cupboard in a fancy, personal design. Make a teddy bear. Pull out bits of Lego, toothpicks, matches, puzzles, knitting, origami and just do it. Take those itchy hands off the keyboard or the phone.

Do Something Banal
Changing your Facebook photo. No filters, now. Add a board on Pinterest.

Update your Address Book
Go through your address book and you ask: How badly do I want to keep that person on my contact list? Or better still: “It’s been way too long since I reached out to that person!”

Go Back to Your Roots
Do a genealogy search. Research your roots. Figure out where you sprung from.

Think of Others
Volunteer. Visit the lonely. Drive people home from the pub! I volunteered one Christmas Day and brought dinners around to the elderly. It was fantastic. So, gratifying. My daughter came with me. A great lesson in compassion and care.

Dinner
Decide not to eat turkey. Imagine that!

Make Your New Year’s Resolutions
I know, but that’s the idea. Start making your resolutions and, magically, Christmas has gone by and you’ve so much to show and tell all.

Whatever way you spend the day, make it YOURS.

GET MERRY WITH GROW!

Join us on Thursday, December 19th at 7 PM for a fun-filled holiday celebration featuring the varied talents of our Grow community. Now in it's 4th year, the Grow Christmas Talent Show has become the event of the season! Do you have a song, poem, musical piece, or some jokes to share? Or maybe you just want to come along and enjoy the show. Contact Alan Keaveney for the link to this online gathering. [email protected]

GROW MH CHRISTMAS RAFFLE

Donate for a chance to win a fabulous prize just in time for the holidays.

Tickets on sale from now until Dec 20th at 2pm. Tickets cost €5 each, 3 for €10, 7 for €20 or 20 for €50.

Please ensure you include your name and a contact phone number with with your ticket purchase so that we can enter you into the draw and contact you as needed.

Click on the button below to read all about the prizes to be won and to purchase your tickets now.

Buy Tickets Here

NEW YEAR, NEW WAY TO SHARE

In 2025, we are changing the way we share the wisdom, learning, and hope of the Grow Program. Instead of a monthly online newsletter, we will be producing an online and print magazine 6 times per year. This new format publication is for our Grow Community and anyone who could use a bit of inspiration and insight into mental health. If you are subscribed to this newsletter, no need to do anything! The first edition will land in your inbox in February. In it, we will explore love in it's many forms and the power of friendship in healing. Don't miss it!

If you're interested in becoming a contributor, you can contact us on [email protected]

Dear Grow Members,

We have commenced a Pilot in Area F (West and North West regions) of our new Regional Program Team.

We now invite our members in all other regions to consider applying to join our Voluntary Regional Program Teams. The Regional Program Team is a group of Volunteer Grow members, who work with the Staff in the Region to ensure that the Grow program is adhered to in groups and that we offer the best support we can to those attending groups.

Training and support will be provided for the role – please see below details on the role of Regional Program Team.

The primary role of a Regional Program Team member is to ensure, on behalf of the National Program Committee, that Grow Groups in the region are run according to the Grow Constitution and that they are, specifically, adhering faithfully to the Grow Program and the Group method, and to work collaboratively with and to support the Regional Manager (RM) or Regional Area Leads (RAL) in their role of managing and developing the regions.

The position is voluntary but out of pocket expenses will be reimbursed to Team members.
We would love to see people in our groups getting involved in supporting the work of the Regions and sharing the knowledge and benefit you have gained by being in Grow.

To approve the appointment of the Grow Group Organisers and Recorders once they have been elected by the group
To review reports issued by the Organiser and Recorder meetings in the region
To analyse the information in Microsoft Forms/ Recorder forms produced in the region to assess the adherence of Grow Groups in the region to the Grow Program and Group Method
To nominate and support a member to act in support of dispute resolution in managing in-group disputes
To review reports arising in relation to incidents in Grow Groups and any compliments and complaints received
To provide regular reports to the National Program Committee on its activities (according to the schedule of Board meetings) to include
Organiser and Recorder Meetings
Reports from Monitoring and Evaluation via the Microsoft/Recorder Forms
The incident report and compliments and complaint Reports
To provide feedback to the National Program Committee on recommendations for any changes to the Grow Program.

The Regional Program Team is advisory and recommendations it makes re. changes to The Program, are brought to the National Program Committee for approval.

For further information or to express interest, please contact:
Mary Walsh, Volunteer & Member Support Officer [email protected], 087 2843424

A GROW WEDDING!
By Keith, Groom and Grow Group Member

We met in the Grow Group in Ratoath in 2016 and became friends. We met for coffee every Friday and our friendship grew into something much more. During the harsh winter of 2018, Darragh came to stay with me and she never went home again! We moved to a new house in 2018 and have lived there happily ever since. We decided to get married earlier this year and on the 31st of October we tied the knot. We had a great day! We are both very thankful to Grow for the support and guidance through all the ups and downs of life.

BOTANICAL FUNDRAISER FOR GROW MH

Created with love by The Horticulture Course students at National Learning Network in Bantry, this beautiful Birth Flower Calendar is being sold throughout the region to raise vital funds for Grow Mental Health community supports in Kerry. The calendar features stunning floral designs for every month. Copies available from local retailers in Bantry or you can order one directly from NLN Bantry ([email protected]). Limited stock available- order yours today. Thank you to everyone who brought this gorgeous project to life! Your creativity and generosity mean the world to us at Grow Mental Health.

A very big THANK YOU to all of the wonderful individuals and charities who have donated to Grow Mental Health this Christmas season. Because of your generosity, we have raised over €10,000 in November and December, helping us to continue and expand our support groups in the community and online.

Utmost International
O’Brien Landscaping
Naturalife
The Killeshin Hotel
Eden Gifts
Limerick Lace

The total is in and our friends John and Stephen stopped by our Limerick office to present a cheque for a whopping €3,000! You might recall their harrowing journey up the Pyrenees (listen to their full podcast about their challenge here) to raise these greatly appreciated funds for Grow Mental Health. Those supporting their efforts funded the production and printing of our new Grow Welcome Packs. Given to anyone who comes to our peer support groups for the first time, these Welcome Packs provide essential information and encouragement. Thank you you John and Stephen for their support for Grow!

Together, we are creating an Ireland where no one needs to navigate mental health challenges or life's struggles alone. We look forward to working with all of our fundraisers in 2025. If you have an idea or would like to talk to us about how you can support Grow, reach out on [email protected].

GROW IN THE COMMUNITY

MENTAL HEALTH ONLINE

Caroline Crotty, Grow Digital Services Manager and Colette Flannery, Interim Head of National Programmes attended a digital mental health conference the University of Limerick facilitated on Tuesday, December 3rd.

Bernard Gloster, CEO of HSE, and other representatives from HSE, Academia, and the mental health services community attended.

The conference was looking at the Digital Mental Health Policy currently being finalised and developing a strategic implementation roadmap for that policy. At Grow, our online and digital services continue to go from strength to strength and we are proud to have a voice in this conversation about digital mental health policy.

SPECIAL NOTICES

STAFF NOTES

Four new Regional Area Leads have been appointed and will begin their roles early January 2025.

In Area A, (Dublin and North East) Eileen Clevenger will take on the post of Regional Area Lead. Eileen has been an Area Coordinator with Grow for many years.

In Area B, (Dublin and Midlands) Alex O'Halloran will join Grow on 17th December.
Alex has many years experience managing teams in the front-line service delivery in the domestic violence sector.

In Area F, (West and North West) Ruth Mangan will commence this role on January 6th 2025. Ruth is currently a Area Coordinator and has been a positive contributor to the community support in the region.

In Area C, (Dublin and South East) Leonard Kelly will commence this role on January 6th 2025.

Leonard has worked with community-based mental health support groups from the idea stage to the implementation and has line management experience.

We are delighted to welcome our new people on board and wish all the Regional Area Leads every success in their new role.

JOBS @GROW
We are currently recruiting for an Area Coordinator in the Cavan/Monaghan Area. The purpose of the role is to develop and maintain a network of Grow groups in the region known as an Area Coordination Unit. This role has specific duties and boundaries and is one of working with, empowering and facilitating others to enable the development of leadership within membership and the wider Grow community, which provides support to those who have or are suffering from, mental health challenges. See full description here: https://grow.ie/area-coordinator-cavan-monaghan/

DAYS OF SIGNIFICANCE IN DECEMBER
December 3rd - International Day of Persons with Disabilities
December 5th - International Volunteer Day
December 21tst - Winter Solstice
December 24th - Christmas Eve
December 25th - Christmas Day
December 26th - St. Stephen's Day
December 31st - New Year's Eve

STAFF GROW GROUP
Open to all staff members. (Attendance to be on your own time) weekly on Tuesdays @ 2 PM (PLEASE NOTE UPDATED DAY/TIME). Contact Mary Walsh for the link: [email protected]

GROW OPEN GROUP
Online Grow Group meeting every Friday at 2 PM for any Grow member who might have missed their weekly Group, is looking for some extra support between meetings, or would like to offer support to others. Contact Felicia: [email protected]

GROW ONLINE MEN'S GROUPS
We offer two online Men's Groups taking place weekly. Meetings take place online on Tuesdays between 10:30 AM and 12 PM (contact [email protected]) and and Thursday evenings, at 7:30 PM. (contact [email protected])

GROW ONLINE WOMEN'S GROUP
We offer free weekly online mental health support groups for women. You can read more about why and how join here: https://grow.ie/womens-mental-health

Our CARING AND SHARING ONLINE COFFEE MORNING is open to anyone in the Grow Community and meets online on the LAST MONDAY of every month. Contact [email protected] for details. Why not come along and share with other Grow members and staff in a casual, friendly setting?

Stay up to date with Grow by subscribing to our social media channels at the links below.

Grow in Ireland

Registered Charity Number: 200223294

33 Henry Street, Limerick, Ireland

Information Line: 0 818 474 474

Email: [email protected]

Additional Contact Information Here.

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December 2024 Newsletter – Christmas Your Way

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December 2024 Newsletter – Christmas Your Way

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