JULY 2024 Newsletter – Friendship

It is an understatement to say I’ve been tempered by my pre-adult friendships. They changed how I viewed my role in friendships and even some of my core self-beliefs.

I became a “lone wolf” as a way of protecting myself from further negative experiences. It was a self-belief I carried for over two decades. However, it enabled my continued isolation and fear surrounding friendships.

Since joining Grow Mental Health, I feel a real shift in my attitude towards friendship. For the first time in over two decades, my mind has opened to the possibility that friendships can and should be nourishing and joyful. Also, and more importantly; I have begun to believe that I am worthy of such friendships.

I still regularly need to remind myself that not all friendships are toxic or “unsafe”. No man is an island. This colloquialism makes me think of the light-hearted 2002 film, “About a Boy”. For all its surface-level humour, it packs in some profound messages about everyone’s need of friendship and connection. No matter how introverted or “different” one is, we are social beings and we need connection with others to be happy and healthy.

There are countless benefits to friendship. Happy hormones, better problem solving, self-growth, increasing confidence, relieving stress and mitigating depression, among others. I read somewhere that regular socialising with others can even reduce the potential of developing dementia. That to me, says it all!

With my negative history of friendship, it is understandable I have difficulty trusting others, and myself in relationships. The safe and gentle environment of Grow has been perfect for unlearning negative attitudes towards friendships and re-learning positive ones. It is a great space for putting on one’s training wheels and dipping a toe gently back into friendships.

Many of my peers can relate to my experiences and that has allowed me to relax into the process of learning how to make friends. There is a shared vulnerability, empathy and acceptance. All the ingredients of a healthy friendship. There is no pressure to be anyone but oneself.

When it comes to cultivating meaningful friendships, I ask myself two questions.

1. How do I know what a healthy friendship looks like?

2. What do I value in friendships?

For me, genuine friendships feel natural, safe and equal. They make me feel good about myself. There is mutual sharing, maturity, and respect, regardless of agreement. I feel seen and heard, as my authentic self. There is no alternative agenda outside of the friendship itself. Friendships need a time commitment and good communication to keep them alive, as well as honesty and confidentially to flourish. And above all; empathy is what I value most in a friend.

These answers have, and continue to help guide me. Friendships are individual after all. Not everyone will like everyone else, and that’s perfectly okay. I try to remind myself of this fact when things don’t work out. I will never let the rejection of others affect my self-worth again.

SHINING BRIGHT IN THE MIDWEST FOR GO YELLOW!
by Celia Brett, Grow MH Area Coordinator, Midwest Region

The team in the Midwest pulled out all the stops in Limerick and Clare for this year's GO YELLOW! fundraising campaign and were delighted to have the support of local legends including Feakle GAA, Clare GAA, Sharon Shannon (Yes! The famous Irish musician), and the Clover Rebel Band. The kind folks in Clare GAA  donated advertising space on the big screen for Grow MH for three championship matches in Semple Stadium in Thurles. There was charity match between Feakle and Scarriff GAA with Grow MH in the Midwest as beneficiary. We saw promotional work through social media and storytelling through music. We are so grateful to all these wonderful community-based advocates! I personally had the opportunity to speak about Grow Mental Health to both teams ahead of the charity match, as well as Limerick 95FM and Clare FM radio stations, raising awareness for Grow nationwide and a new meeting in Ennis starting on July 2nd at 2pm.

On the eve of the Summer Solstice, Joan, Administrator for Grow MH in the Midwest, organised a Shanagolden and Foynes Meditation Group. Participants were encouraged to expand their sense of self by fostering a creative spirit all while celebrating the light of the longest day of the year.

Limerick and Clare Grow MH group members along with Grow Midwest Area Coordinators Danielle and Celia (me!) took part in walk & talks, picnics in the park (complete with yellow food items!), coffee meetups, and more meditation & relaxation sessions. Rob, a Midwestern Grow group member, organised a Midsummer Treasure Hunt around the three bridges in Limerick. He promoted the fun-filled event with the help of members and the wider community.  There was walk/run/jog in Doon GAA and an Oola GAA Mothers & Others training session, with all donations once again going to Grow MH services in the Midwest. Our personal wellbeing, both physical and emotional, is deeply connected to the quality of our friendships and partnerships, so these special get togethers can work wonders for our health and happiness.

We want to extend a massive 'Thank You' to everyone who created, promoted, attended, and supported these events. We couldn't have done it without you! These solstice rituals allowed us to linger in the power of the longest, lightest day of the year, giving us an opportunity to revitalize our spirit and reestablish a connection with the natural world and ourselves. Helping at a community fundraising event was a great chance to meet new people and form friendships, offering a chance to meet and collaborate with individuals who have similar interests and values to achieve a common objective.

Recently we experienced the passing four members of Grow in the Midwest. While they couldn't be with us, they were in our thoughts every time we came together for a GO YELLOW event. 

GO YELLOW had the Midwest shining brightly!

A GO YELLOW DAY OF CONNECTION AND WELLNESS AT THE LITTLE LANTERN  22ND JUNE 2024
By Caroline, Grow MH Digital Services Supervisor

On Saturday June 22nd, 2024, fourteen enthusiastic participants gathered at the Little Lantern for a day filled with wellness activities and meaningful connections. The event kicked off with warm scones served in the garden and this gorgeous start set the tone for a day that nourished for both body and soul.

Each participant was paired with a buddy to check in with throughout the day. This initiative was a wonderful way to ensure everyone felt included and cared for. My buddy Kay and I shared some lovely moments, and our bond was sealed with a heartfelt hug as we parted ways.

The first workshop of the day was chair yoga and this session engaged every part of our bodies, leaving us both relaxed and invigorated. We concluded with a simple yet effective ten-deep-breath exercise, which can be done anywhere, anytime. This mindful breathing technique involves tracing the outline of one hand with the index finger of the other, breathing in while tracing up a finger and breathing out while tracing down each finger - swap hands to have ten deep breaths. 

Gertrude's workshop on boundaries followed, offering insightful discussions on the complexities of setting and maintaining personal boundaries. One young participant shared how oversharing can breach boundaries, a perspective that sparked a rich conversation over lunch. The dialogue extended to the challenges of maintaining boundaries with adult children and grandchildren, especially in light of the current housing crisis or when caring for grandchildren.

After lunch, Daniel, a Dungarvan member led us on a coastal walk. Despite the cloudy weather, the rain held off, and we enjoyed learning about the local area's history, artists, and natural environment. Daniel's commentary emphasised the importance of acceptance, even of negative thoughts, and of integrating nature into our daily lives. The walk was a refreshing blend of physical activity and mental relaxation, showcasing the beauty surrounding the Little Lantern.

Upon returning, Daniel shared his experiences of Grow meetings to the attendees, positively highlighting their structure and the positive impact on his life. His story served as a reminder of the importance of community and support networks.

The day concluded with a sound bath workshop, an experience that left participants feeling calm, relaxed, and rejuvenated. We experienced various sounds which created a meditative atmosphere, and many described the session as the closest thing to being asleep while awake. The healing power of sound was evident, as everyone emerged with a sense of peace and connectedness.

The wellness day that was provided by Gertrude with Chris by her side was not only about individual wellness but about fostering a sense of community. The atmosphere was filled with positivity, and no one seemed in a hurry to leave at the end of the day.  

The Go Yellow Dungarvan Wellness Day held at the Little Lantern was a beautiful blend of activities that nurtured mind and body, creating a spiritual connection among participants. It was a day of calm, connection, and personal growth, leaving everyone looking forward to the next gathering.

   

• 96% said meetings had some positive impact on their day-to-day lives
• 98% rated help as at least good and over half (55%) rated it as excellent.
• 98% felt some optimism for the future.
• Over 40% had reduced or no need of professional help while with Grow.
• Of those hospitalized in the past, 75% had not been hospitalized in the previous year.
• Over half (51%) did not experience an increase in symptoms or a relapse in 2023.