August 2023 Newsletter – Happiness and Contentment

CHOOSE HAPPINESS & CONTENTMENT

Why choose to be happy and content? Do you want joy, peace, satisfaction, fulfilment, enrichment, living with a smile that reaches your eyes and so much joy in your heart that it overflows and has a positive effect on those around you?

When we struggle with our mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health it seems that happiness and contentment are a far and distant land that we hope to reach someday, catching fleeting glimpses of it but never really holding on to it for very long and certainly not for as long as we would like. I believe that each and every one of us has the capacity to be happy and content no matter who we are or where we are in life. To be happy and content takes willingness, discipline, openness, and commitment and the reward is a beautiful renewed inner life of your choosing.

Here are the 4 A’s that can help you understand some key steps on your journey and grow to be a happier, stable, and enriched you.

1. AWARENESS
One of the greatest gifts we have as humans is our consciousness. To be aware of ourselves and the world around us. Sometimes it is difficult to pinpoint exactly what is troubling us. By sharing with your Grow group over time it becomes easier for you and your group to identify and understand those areas in our lives that we allow to steal our joy. Honesty is critical to the process, to be true to ourselves and acknowledge where we are at.

You are responsible for your own happiness. This statement may be challenging to accept. We tend to make excuses and try to hold other people or other factors responsible. Don’t give away your power to be happy and content to other people or things. The truth is that happiness and contentment grow from within you. When we stop looking to our external resources, relationships, and our circumstances we are free to cultivate the inner peace and the joy we seek.

Love. Most of us live with a harsh inner critic. Choose to love yourself and accept yourself exactly where you are now. You can’t give away what you do not have. By loving yourself you will increase your love for others too.

2. ATTITUDE
Live with an attitude of gratitude. Being grateful and enjoying what is in your life currently can have a very positive impact on your life. Our change in perspective on lack or loss can change how we feel regarding any circumstance. For example, something as simple as grumbling and complaining that the water coming out of your tap is not hot enough – change this way of thinking to be grateful that you have a tap with water coming out of it.

Be difficult to offend. We live in a world of difficult people who can inflict unnecessary hurt on others, either accidentally or sadly deliberately. Decide in advance how to stand and react positively to negative instances. Seeing the funny side when things go wrong can have a massive impact on your day. Forgiveness is powerful and will help you to resume quickly after a setback.

3. ACTION
Expect good things to happen. Our thoughts are powerful. Actively observe your thoughts. When you have thoughts of criticism, judgment, resentment, jealousy, or other negative thoughts, see them for what they are, mere thoughts. You do not have to agree with everything that falls into your head. Dismiss negative thoughts quickly and replace them with positive, healthy alternatives.

Practice patience. When out for a meal it's always the person who grumbles and complains that everything is taking so long that can ruin the evening! Test yourself to be gracious and practice patience and have an extra helping of patience spare for those who have not developed theirs.

Give. Think of how you can increase someone else’s joy. By getting your mind off yourself and onto how you can improve someone else’s day. It can be especially fun to see someone else’s face light up by your positive actions. Remember to be generous with your smiles, compliments, time, etc. It doesn’t have to cost the earth.

Fun. To have fun and play even as an adult can bring so much joy into your life. Look back over your life and recall those moments when you had the most fun and enjoyment. When invited to take part in any activity, consider it but try not to dismiss it out of hand. Try something new, gently breach the boundaries of your comfort zone.

Set Goals. Set short-term, achievable goals in your physical exercise, hobbies, travel, education, or other areas of your life that bring joy to you and help increase your self-esteem. You can take a Grow weekly task that can help towards setting goals. When achieved this can bring satisfaction and thus enrich your life.

4. ALTITUDE
LOOK BACK WITHOUT REGRET
LOOK AROUND WITHOUT ENVY
LOOK FORWARD WITHOUT FEAR
We all live with a shadow in our life. After all, we live on Earth not in heaven. By choosing to live on the sunny side of life our shadow will be cast behind us as we walk forward rather than blocking out the sunlight.
Happiness and contentment can bring very positives change to your life and health. You can decide daily to choose an ordinary and simple path towards being a better version of you. Building and growing an inner world that will ripple out positively to all those around you.

The only way is up to the dizzy heights of happiness and contentment.

We have evolved for survival and its problems before happiness. However, gratitude is a seed that will grow if you nurture it. We can start to see and appreciate the little things, that before we never really noticed. The bumble bees visiting the lavender flowers, the sound of children playing in the distance, a friend calling you to see how you are. Once you start noticing you will notice little tiny joys, wonders, and miracles all around. Then you will not fail to notice and appreciate the bigger blessings.

Another version of the practice is to write or journal the daily things for which you are grateful. Taking the time to journal your gratitude gives the gratitude more weight. It gears you to see more gratitude. The very ritual of noting down gratitude shows your mind just how important gratitude is to you.

However, my favourite practice is to get into the habit of noticing the things to be grateful for in the moment. So, it helps you to be both positive and present. Less in your head with the troubles of the day. It grounds you in the here and now. The first cup of tea of the day, the sound of rain and wind on the window, sitting down with a good book. These moments are peppered throughout our day.

It's in the little things that contentment grows. It's not the big deals! It's not getting more money or a status job, or some big success. If contentment follows gratitude, peace follows on the coattails of contentment. With gratitude, you can be content and at peace even on a blue day!

*What and who is a company member of GROW?

Members of the Company of Grow are mostly seasoned Grow group members who have, in some way given back to Grow by taking on voluntary duties eg. Organiser, Recorder, and Regional Team member. If you are interested in becoming a company member of Grow, contact a member of your Regional Team, Area Coordinator, or the Grow National Office 01-8408236 with your name and address. Alternatively, contact the Company Secretary at Grow in Ireland, 5 Forest Mews Forest Road, Swords Co Dublin K67 DX66.There are no obligations or duties associated with company membership but, as stated, you are entitled to attend and participate in the Grow Annual General Meeting.

A really great day was had by all in Hazel House on Saturday 1st July!

We had a truly memorable day of fun, a bracing walk, woodwork, fabulous food, stories, and a sing-song. We had testimonies, chats, and loads of fun in Hazel House with the Eastern Region. John F. did a great job as compere for the day and Maureen and Ann told us their Grow Mental Health stories and testimonies beautifully. We were all talking about what amazing women they are all day. We were all so grateful to everyone who organised funding and the agenda and all who contributed to the day. Special thanks to Gerry Farrell and Hazel House for hosting this great event. It was a day we’ll never forget. 

by the warm, friendly staff, whose smiles never faltered, despite numerous requests for more tea and coffee, as we enjoyed our very much prolonged “Afternoon Tea”. Our guest of honor was founding member Nora Daly, who along with the late Michael Linehan saw a need for a support group like Grow in the North Cork region. Nora secured a meeting room, free of charge, from the Sisters of Mercy and Grow commenced on the 16th of July 1993 in Kanturk. Nora spoke of the many challenges in starting a new group. These challenges, including attracting and retaining new members are still present 30 years later. Indeed Michael’s late wife was often obliged to make up the necessary numbers required to hold a meeting. “Settle for Disorder” was often the order of the day! Meeting rooms were not, what they are today, and Nora had to bring along her own teapot, cups, tea, and coffee on a weekly basis. However, despite this inconvenience, Nora was determined to develop Grow in Kanturk. The meetings grew from strength to strength under Nora’s leadership, and today there is a vibrant Grow peer support group with over nine very committed Growers who attend on a weekly basis.

Noreen O'Sullivan (Grow Area Coordinator) thanked everyone for coming and making the 30th celebrations such a day to remember. She thanked all the members for their commitment to Grow, for their weekly attendance, their support of each other, for developing 12th Step work, and the marvelous work they have done fundraising throughout North Cork. Noreen went on to say how important Grow was to a rural community such as Kanturk, where many services have been lost in recent years and praised their efforts in “Carrying the Message To Others In Need” and helping to dispel isolation within our towns and villages.

Noreen, on behalf of the Kanturk Group, extended a sincere, heartfelt THANK YOU to Nora firstly, for her amazing foresight in commencing Grow in a rural community and for her time and energy, which she gave so willingly and voluntarily for the past 30 years. Noreen applauded Nora's tireless determination in developing and sustaining the Group, her vast knowledge of the Program, but mostly her unending kindness, support, friendship, and care to both past and present members. Her ever-calm presence and friendly smile have, countless times, eased the anxiety of a first-time attendee.

Nora responded, thanking everyone for coming, and stating the “30 years had flown by” and though at times there were great challenges in sustaining the Group she enjoyed every minute of the 30 years. She spoke of how Grow had helped her in her own life, and the many great friends she made throughout the years. Nora spoke of the importance of the Group, and its members, that “Grow was not about one person” but the “peer support, and friendships available within the meeting”.

Many members thanked Nora also and were fulsome in their praise of her kindness and support shown to the Group. They went on to share what having Grow in their lives meant to them, with one member stating “It was like having a second family” and another member stating “It was a safe place to speak about issues, with total acceptance and no judgment”. Many spoke of how important their weekly meeting was to them, and the structure it gave to their week.

As a token of gratitude to Nora, the Group then made a presentation of a slate plaque designed and presented by our own resident artist Catherina, inscribed with the “Serenity Prayer” one of Nora’s much-loved pieces of the Program. We followed with a presentation of a beautiful bouquet of flowers by Eta.
All agreed it was a beautiful celebration of “Grow Friendship” and the afternoon ended with a rousing rendition of “She’s A Jolly Good Fella”.