Understanding Panic Attacks and Anxiety 

Coping with Panic: The best way to cope during a panic attack is to deal with it as though it were any other kind of physical pain such as a headache or back pain. Consider it to be a real nuisance but recognise that it is not dangerous to life. Wait quietly until the worst of the faintness and palpitations are over, then go about your business. Knowing and telling ourselves that we are not in real danger, that we won’t die, explode or disintegrate, helps to dissipate our panic.

 Say to yourself: Feelings are not facts, my feelings can be stirred as much by imagined as by real causes. Paraphrase the Four Stabilising Questions:

What (single and immediate) thing do I fear?

Is it really true?

Is it important?

What must I do about it, right now?

It is important to limit our search for danger to the immediate present. If we look at all the possible risks we might run for the rest of our lives, we will always come up with something scary. If we conscientiously use the two tools mentioned above every time we have a panic or anxiety attack, our attacks will last less time and we won’t feel helpless.

We need not be afraid of what others think, if we have a panic attack in a public place; the truth is probably no one is paying any attention. If somebody does ask what is the matter, we can say that is it just a ‘spell’ we sometimes get. We needn’t make a big thing of it.

Acute panic is usually brief but it is followed by a longer stage of heart palpitations, weakness and great anxiety. During this anxiety phase we are better off distracting ourselves from our irrational fears than concentrating on them. People can beat anxiety by pulling weeds, jogging or cleaning house. We need to find out what works best for us and to get our muscles into action through vigorous activity.

Look for the deeper causes of anxiety: We need to look at some of the deeper causes of panic attacks. If we look at what was going on in our lives when we started having panic attacks, we usually find that we have suffered some big disruption that makes us feel vulnerable. The disruption may be a lost job, or job burnout, failing in school, a death in the family, divorce, a threat to our health or even the inevitable start of deterioration that comes with middle age. Whatever it is, it brings us face to face emotionally with our own mortality and helplessness. We suddenly realise we must die sometime, and we are vulnerable to dying ANYTIME. We cannot save the world or even save our loved ones from disaster. Suddenly danger seems everywhere.

People can and do transcend these fears, but not by running away from them. We need to develop a philosophy of life that helps us accept whatever pain and tragedy we cannot avoid. We need to talk to people who have faced and come to terms with their own fear of dying and who accept their vulnerability. We need to talk about our fears in our group and recognise that we really are not alone. The task of finding acceptance for our fear of helplessness and death is a part of our spiritual development.

We work at accepting and transcending these fears all our lives. Once we no longer find death so terrifying (though we try to avoid it as long as possible) we are free to live more fully and more joyously. In the meanwhile we should use all the practical means we have to minimise our anxiety.

At this time we may want to set new goals for ourselves: practical goals that mean more to us than our anxiety. These goals might be to finish school, to earn our living, to be more caring etc. Unless we have something that means more to us than our feelings, our phobias and panics will remain the centre of our lives.

Panic attacks can be licked. Many of our GROW leaders suffered from panic attacks and crippling anxiety. They too, did not believe they could be active, constructive leaders or even lead good, ordinary lives. When we see these people today, they amaze us both with their confidence and their sensitivity. It is not that these leaders never suffer moments of high anxiety any more: they do. It is that they have learned to go by what they know rather than how they feel. They have found something more important to them than their feelings: being there for others. They have learned that they can do the ordinary, good thing even when their feelings are against it. We can too.

    – Anne Waters