A TRIBUTE TO MY MOTHER
Maire Connolly, Grow Member Western Region
My beautiful Mam died recently on January 30th in her 92nd year. Her name was Mary Burke. She was a founding member of Grow in Dungarvan in the late 60's along with my Dad Michael. They went to meetings in Cork (travelling on a bus many times) to educate themselves on how the meetings ran.
Sadly it didn't take off like my parents wanted it to. By the early 80s, they teamed up with Sr. Gertrude Howley (who still runs/facilitates Grow meetings in Dungarvan all these years later). Gertrude has been a lifelong friend of my parents and l. She and Mam ran Síol Retreats together too.
Up until Mam's/Mary's diagnosis of Vascular Dementia, she was still active in Grow and Prayer meetings. She was always educating herself be it in Reflexology or Church teachings and also got a job in MABS (money, advice, and budgeting services). All Mam ever wanted to do was to help people and she was particularly good at budgeting after rearing a family of 8 children! I am the youngest...l have a twin brother.
Caring for Mam in my sister's house in the last year or so has been challenging for me (Galway is a long way from home..3 buses!) But it has been so rewarding as l was able to bring her Holy Communion the mornings l was there. And l thank the Priests of Dungarvan Parish for facilitating this for me. Despite her dementia, she was very aware of this Sacrament. When I would go into her room... her face would light up and l would say 'l have Jesus Mam'. Then we'd pray together for a bit before l helped her drink her famous Miwadi juice!
On January 30th at 10.18, my brother rang me to tell me that Mam had passed. It was like a stab in my heart hearing those words. She died in her sleep, so even if l had been in Dungarvan l would have missed her passing. I am comforted by that.
My wonderful Husband Bren drove us down home to Dungarvan. It took us less than 3 hours. We shared memories and cried along the way. I remember that Sr. Gertrude rang me and her words just enveloped me and comforted me Soo much! I needed to hear from someone who truly knew my Mam.
Thank God l was able to sing at her burial Mass without breaking down and l had my hair tied up just the way Mam used to like it.
My wonderful Mam had to deal with Depression, TB, Breast cancer, varicose veins, grief (we lost my beautiful brother Gary at 27. He was playing soccer at the time so it was very sudden), and my Dad's death. She remarked to me recently 'the only thing Dad ever did on me was died too young ' He was 69 at the time and she was 64. That day she was telling me this she was 90!
My Mam was a sun worshiper, loved her meetings, and the lifelong friends she made there, her soaps, loved her style remarking 'Dad likes me to look well 'and travelling. She and l had incredible holidays together from Knock to the Holy Land to the Shrines of France and many more.
She often asked when l was going to have a baby, saying..' l will die happy after l've held my baby's baby in my arms '... sadly that wasn't meant to get for me. I turned 50 at Christmas... maybe she figured it was impossible for me now and decided to let go and pass on to see all her loved ones gone before her.
May God have Mercy on your gentle soul Mam/Mary. May Angels lead you into Paradise and lead you to the Holy City, the new and Eternal Jerusalem. Continue to pray for me as l will for you as l kiss your picture every day until we meet again. Thank you for the beautiful relationship we had and tho l am heartbroken that you're gone, l am so grateful your earthly suffering is at an end.
By: your ever-loving daughter, Dad's little snowdrop Xxx.
